free site statistics Fires of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere: May 2006 <bgsound src="" loop="infinite" />

The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Taking Charge

This situation is unacceptable. When I single-handedly crafted the Frozen Lower Blogosphere out of gold and belly button lint last year, I fully expected it to flower to sentience as the now infamous Lost Blog did. After all, I was there when the Lost Blog became intelligent. Where was the magic? I saw the whole thing. I think Karl might have been there. Karl? Ha! He'll never find the sentient blog. The Lost Blog. The Lost Blog has been lost since Evil Bob Dole reared his ugly head. Now Evil Bob Dole is a robot clown like myself and the Sub-Blogosphere that spawned this transformation is long dead. It's been so long since I last walked through the charred remains of what was once my citadel overlooking the sea. But now as I stare out over the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, a voice beakons. Not a normal voice, like the ones that tell me to do things, but an abnormal one that asks questions. It wants to know things... things that even I don't know. I can't let it end here. I won't let it end here. I shan't! By the branches of Yyegor, I shall personally take up the quest in search of the Lost Blog! The Frozen Lower Blogosphere will emerge as a sentient entity, and not melt away into that good night. Shake your head like you mean it! There's only two posts left to find the Lost one!

Already, the proud villagers give me a fond send-off!

I won't fail you, citizens. The collapse of the Sub-Blogosphere... was a tragedy. But as long as this blog does not exceed 100 posts before I locate the Lost Blog, hope burns as brightly as a nuclear plant in the winter. Semper fudge!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Scientist Attacked By Giant Tiny Ant

How could this happen?!

A small ant of gigantic proportions attacked a Roboshrub Inc. scientist who was working on a way to make the inevitable collapse of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere evitable. "This attack is a serious setback," declared Roboshrub Inc. spokesbot Rick Anonymi. "We're up to post 97 now. If that number reaches 100 without us finding a solution, the entire Frozen Lower Blogosphere could retract its outer shell until a break-point occurs. Then it's game over." It's not clear whether the ant was functioning in coordination with the Armada Automata, although it doesn't appear to be robotic or cybernetically enhanced in any way. "On a brighter note," reported Anonymi, we're twelve steps closer to finding the legendary Lost Blog. From it, we can learn the answer to preserving a sentient blog after 100 posts. But before we find it, we need to ---- ... .. - - - - -.


We interup your regularly scheduled post to bring you the thoughts of the blogMind:
"Toast is toasty."



----.--. .--.- -.-.- set up contingency plans should the Armada Automata attack before the blog becomes fully sentient. If you have any further questions, I would be happy to throw you out that window over yonder."

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


So there I was, sitting around the T.V. thinking about all the stories I've been writing, all the potions I've been mixing, and I thought to myself: what is reality? Is it what I see around me? Or is it something that can be changed? Ever the philanderer, I decided to get digging.

"You can take my money, my friends, and my soul, but not the air in my hand!"

It turns out, I was right the first time. Reality can't be changed, so just forget about trying to "save the world" with your recycling, skippy. And if reality can't change, then I can't just go around being other people. That would be cool, too. Imagine if you could just leave your existence behind and be someone else for just a little while, see how they live and such. I've done that before, being a robot and all, but never for profit. Long live the Empire.