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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Back... From The Future!

I recently sent one of Roboshrub Incorporated's secret agents, Rick Anonymi, to the future to see if we managed to prevent the total collapse of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere. Sadly, in the future Agent Anonymi visited, the Lower Blogosphere collapsed right after it flowered to sentience.

So in light of this revelation, I have instituted a no-arm wrestling policy. This will hopefully prevent the Endtime Agents from gaining a proper fix on our location and confuse the mad hypnotists in charge of Operation Black Cheddar. I know what they're planning, as Rick was kind enough to bring back their evil plotlines in a historical archive known in the future as the "Chronicles of Xist."

The Black Cheddarists are merely the spellcasting backbone of OneStar's Armada Automata! How the two met is unclear, but we know now that several months from now, Operation Black Cheddar will be merged into the Armada. Until then, we can only hope to prevent the implosion of the Lower Blogosphere; only the power of a sentient blog can stave off the Automata menace. So unless we find the legendary lost blog... no! We can't base all our strategems on the imaginary! Where's Captain Kirk when we need him?!

There have been 5 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger flatlander maliciously intimated...

As Phillip K. Dick pointed out, even the past is in a constant state of flux, so the future that Rick A. visited may only be one of many possiblilities.

With the unfortold power of the sentient blog on our side, I believe we could steer the timestream to any destination we chose. We would, of course, steer it to the most improrbable and irrelivant destination possible--a galaxy populated by a race of intelligent deoderant sticks, perhaps.

One thing is certain: if the Black Cheddar Consortium find the sentient blog before we do, it will be a dark day for blogdom, though we might not know the difference, being hypnotized and all.

4/17/2006 11:00 AM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi maliciously intimated...


It's... okay... I... found... it...

The... urk!

4/17/2006 7:14 PM  
Blogger His Majesty maliciously intimated...

Well, well, well, what have we here?!

OneStar shall hear of this insubordination! I shall have your modem on a plate for this ingratitude!

4/17/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger Jagd Kunst maliciously intimated...

I want to help. How can I help? I'm scared of robots, but if I help now I'm sure you'll cut me some slack in the future. You will won't you? I'm not a human. I'm simian.

4/17/2006 8:52 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I wish there was some way you could help, but sometimes a blog just...

...fades away...

4/17/2006 8:57 PM  

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