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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Taking Charge

This situation is unacceptable. When I single-handedly crafted the Frozen Lower Blogosphere out of gold and belly button lint last year, I fully expected it to flower to sentience as the now infamous Lost Blog did. After all, I was there when the Lost Blog became intelligent. Where was the magic? I saw the whole thing. I think Karl might have been there. Karl? Ha! He'll never find the sentient blog. The Lost Blog. The Lost Blog has been lost since Evil Bob Dole reared his ugly head. Now Evil Bob Dole is a robot clown like myself and the Sub-Blogosphere that spawned this transformation is long dead. It's been so long since I last walked through the charred remains of what was once my citadel overlooking the sea. But now as I stare out over the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, a voice beakons. Not a normal voice, like the ones that tell me to do things, but an abnormal one that asks questions. It wants to know things... things that even I don't know. I can't let it end here. I won't let it end here. I shan't! By the branches of Yyegor, I shall personally take up the quest in search of the Lost Blog! The Frozen Lower Blogosphere will emerge as a sentient entity, and not melt away into that good night. Shake your head like you mean it! There's only two posts left to find the Lost one!


Already, the proud villagers give me a fond send-off!

I won't fail you, citizens. The collapse of the Sub-Blogosphere... was a tragedy. But as long as this blog does not exceed 100 posts before I locate the Lost Blog, hope burns as brightly as a nuclear plant in the winter. Semper fudge!

There have been 13 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger flatlander maliciously intimated...

"charred remains of what was once my citadel overlooking the sea"

--does this mean that the time share deal is off?

5/11/2006 10:56 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

Off, over, interrupted, it's all the same.

5/13/2006 11:06 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo maliciously intimated...



Perhaps this can shed some light on the lost Birdman blog?

5/14/2006 6:44 PM  
Blogger Captain Canuck maliciously intimated...

I've been on the trail of the lost sentient blog for months now. They say "the mounties always get their man", but I'm just a washed-up indie lable superhero.

Also, the lost blog isn't a man, despite the dry cleaning bills.

5/14/2006 11:45 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I fear the Lower Blogosphere may eat itself into sentience, and then blogBlivion.

My word verification thing is wfarc.

5/15/2006 8:51 AM  
Blogger Salbert maliciously intimated...

Don't you forget Gyrobo, you have Sal & Company Ltd. on your side! Our Petro engineers will look for this blog instead of oil for now!

5/15/2006 7:37 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I ain't payin' youse to goldbrick! Whar's me toothpick?!

5/15/2006 10:10 PM  
Blogger Face maliciously intimated...

Is the sentient blog maybe the one who sends out all those blog spams?
Is it so dsillusioned with the comments system that it would induce us to click on the Link To Oblivion?
I have never clicked on one but I believe it would suck you into a parallel universe where tiny beings would peel off your skin bit by bit to make notes of money out of.
The videos of this process may or may not be sold on the internet black market.

But perhaps I'm being unfair to the sentient blog.

5/15/2006 11:58 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

Oh, I'm sure the sentient blog will be found in the nick of time, able to prevent the Frozen Lower Blogosphere from eating itself up. Or maybe it won't. Did you ever think of that?! Noooooo!

5/16/2006 10:41 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo maliciously intimated...



Word. Yo.

6/27/2006 9:46 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi maliciously intimated...

Dude, did we ever, like, find that sentient blog thing?! It's been a month. Get to work. I'll fire you.

6/28/2006 12:22 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo maliciously intimated...


I found the lost blog...possibly:

http://hincheywatch.blogspot.com/
http://midwesthick.blogspot.com/
http://timetoteleport.blogspot.com/
http://time2teleport.blogspot.com/
http://uberdale.blogspot.com/
http://torveld.blogspot.com/
http://metapirate.blogspot.com/
http://zombietree.blogspot.com/
http://exdeusmachina.blogspot.com/

Is it one of these???

6/28/2006 7:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

Only the tip of the iceberg.

7/02/2006 12:22 AM  

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