Class Trip

Wasn't our last class trip the best?!

Oh, that's right, you weren't there. Too bad, Bill Gates showed up and started handing out hundred dollar bills. Then it rained pizza.

But the best part was how, at the hotel, the manager woke us up personally at six in the morning every day. Normally, I'm against being woken up. But being in Boston and North Dakota concurrently is something you need to be fully awake to experience.

I mean, do I go into your home and tell you that you can't wake up early if you wanted to?! That's not the way the world works, not since the reformation. Modern computer citizenry requires a lighter touch, a feather dusting if you will. But getting back to our class trip, it wasn't this year, or even last year.

No, the class trip I'm talking about was way back in elementary school. To teach us about life, the faculty released us in the middle of Boston with only a compass and a fruit rollup. It was up to us to find a way home; this would weed out the weaklings and save taxpayers money in the long run.

At first I had no idea how to get home, but then I remembered that moss always grew on the north side of trees. So I sold this nugget of information to a nature show host and hired a cab.

That's how I won my first nobel prize.