Pirates Are My FREINDS!
And now I walk around each week, seeing pirates on movie posters and such?! This is an outrage! I've never been more angry. You know what? Just forget it. I'm in no mood for this. A pirate saved my life, and you dare to stand in judgement of them?! What does that say about you? That's right, a pirate pulled me out of a barrel. If it wasn't for those pirates, I'd be a pickle right now.
As a robot, I'm against pickling. It's highly unnatural. If you're going to be mummified, at least have the muttonchops to get wrapped up first. I could go on for hours about how I hate muttonchops, lambchops, and all other hair styles that aren't mullets. In fact, put mullets on the list. At the top. I rue the day mullets were invented!
And if anyone says anything about pirates again, I'm gonna take you downtown and have a little talk with your principal. Because everyone has a principal, not in the academic sense, but in the political sense. Who is your principal but your mayor? You governor? Your emporer? It's all the same. It's all a blur to me now, as I sit watching Spumco cartoons over the Internet... how else am I supposed to see them?! I'd buy them, but where are the DVDs?! Not out yet. Never out. What's a robot gotta do to get some service around here?!