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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Pandemic Sweeps the Frozen Lower Blogosphere

A flu-like pandemic swept through the Frozen Lower Blogosphere this weekend, infecting thousands of innocent people with a horrible yet not deadly disease. Named after the first being to catch it, the "Gyrobian Flu" has crippled the Frozen Lower Blogosphere's industrial sector, rendering the Lower Blogosphere incapable of vowel generation. Already the consonants are growing in number, and as every scientist versed in macrobiological gramatology can tell you, this will only result in more illness.

The symptoms of this disease are the swelling of the glands behind one's neck, a stuffed up nose, and a sore throat. After three days, this will devolve into a painful earache, disorienting the sufferer for a maximum of two days. Then if your brain doesn't melt, recovery is immediately felt. A thin layer of carbon-based material will crust over your eyes, followed by a sudden an inexplicable "pop" in the back of your head.

The Gyrobian Flu is expected to affect people not only in the Lower Blogosphere, but in the "real world" by people who have never even visited this blog. These will be the most unfortunate, for they will most likely succumb to the crusting.

May the eternal light of the Ancients fall upon the afflicted.

There have been 15 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger Michael maliciously intimated...

For those who are infected may I suggest orange juice, vitamins and warm tea.

11/22/2005 8:42 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

Oranges are a citric fruit, and therefore delicious. Citris rules!

11/22/2005 10:20 AM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

I think I read about this pandemic in Albert Camus' book THE GYROPLAGUE. Is the Gyrobian flu the same pandemic Camus warned us of 50 some-odd years ago?

Was the music that plays when you log on to this blog created when one of you was suffering from the lower depths of this sickness?? (Actually, I love the music. Where is it from? Do tell! Do tell!)

11/26/2005 1:50 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

Yes, you have been officially Robonapped. Visit the latest post on Roboshrub Inc. for details.

11/26/2005 2:15 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

This music has been playing since I created this blog. It's called "The Frost is All Over" and I got it from some Irish folk song site. I did a midi search for "fiery frost" and this came up.

11/26/2005 2:28 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

Hey--don't you even care that I've turned you into Roboclaus??

11/26/2005 5:26 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

Roboclaus has a hunger for blood that cannot be quenched by fruit punch.

That's why I avoided it.

11/27/2005 2:39 PM  
Blogger flatlander maliciously intimated...

The music doesn't work on my computer anymore (says "playlist has not been formatted).

This is sad, because I used to love sitting for hours and rocking out to that cheerful little ditty, while the cat cleaned up the house.

11/27/2005 4:42 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

re: Come on, Little Metal Guy, you have to give me SOME credit for filling my boredom with such an elaborate robonapping plot...

I'll go back to being a spiritual warrior. My days of wreaking havoc are over.

11/27/2005 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous maliciously intimated...

Methinks Bhakti has an unhealthy crush on Mr. Robo.


11/27/2005 9:49 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

For crying out loud! I can't have a crush on the little metal guy...he created me!!!! :i

p.s. And why would this alleged crush be 'unhealthy'? Because he's not human; because I don't know him; or because he has one blue eye and one red eye? Only David Bowie is that cool.

11/27/2005 9:57 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I haven't really updated this blog in a while... all that'll change when I'm done with my new barnburner, "The Passion of the Roboshrub III"!

And I haven't responded to the robonapping thing because I had nothing to say. The whole plot was so cleverly carried out, I never saw it coming a mile away.

11/28/2005 2:26 PM  
Blogger Bob Dole maliciously intimated...

You must build a giant catapult, to fire projectiles at the Sloth.

Gyrobo: Throw money at the problem? ..... ..... OKAY!

11/28/2005 6:10 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

I thought Bob Dole was had been exploded, or something!

11/28/2005 9:25 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

No, EVIL Bob Dole was imploded! That was REGULAR Bob Dole, who is secretly plotting to restore Evil Bob Dole so that he can be used as a scapegoat. But he will fail.

11/29/2005 12:18 PM  

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