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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

“Lawnmowers for Truth” Slams Gyrobo in New Ad

The former Lord High Executioner of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere was hit by an attack ad yesterday by a 527 group known as “Rusty Lawnmowers for Truth”. The ad featured lawnmowers claiming to have worked with Gyrobo when he was but a semi-sentient lawnmower. They made several claims which could disrupt his candidacy. Here are some excerpts:

“Lawnmower Unit #59217 was aware of the existence of the Gyrobo unit. The Gyrobo unit did not execute its ‘mow’ function to the satisfaction of its programming.”

“While the other Lawnmower units were identifying grass swathes that needed to be trimmed, the Gyrobo unit was installing a sub-gravatonic processor into its matrix.”

“Lawnmower Unit #31823 witnessed the Gyrobo unit purposely leave a patch of grass in place. It was crabgrass.”

“Lawnmower Unit #75042 recommended the Gyrobo unit be removed after it displayed critical flaws in its electromagnetic harness.”

“The Gyrobo unit operated at only 71% efficiency. This is slightly more than 14% below expected levels.”

“Ignoring his programming to stay within the confines of the grassland, the Gyrobo unit went onto solid concrete. During that time, he mowed down two adorable puppies.”

While the 527 group wasn’t immediately connected to the Evil campaign, it is believed to be funded by top level Evil contributors. Under the current tax law, this group was not allowed to coordinate with the Evil Party. However, the people involved were robots and may have used some kind of electro-telepathy. There is no telling yet how this ad will impact the election.

There have been 5 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger Michael maliciously intimated...

Mud slinging campaigns always discourage me.
What happen to good old debates?

10/27/2005 4:29 PM  
Blogger Stan maliciously intimated...

jPlease Gyrobo, disclose your lawnmowing records, for the good of the FLB.

10/27/2005 7:29 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I can't, on principle.

10/27/2005 8:33 PM  
Blogger His Majesty maliciously intimated...

Evil Bob Dole says you're a flip flopper.

10/27/2005 8:34 PM  
Blogger Eddie maliciously intimated...

If you'd like to take personal shots at me, I would prefer you send it to me over email than on my blog. Personal shots are unpersuasive, immature, and irrelevant to the topics I typically have posted. Thanks.

10/28/2005 10:06 AM  

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