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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Hopeless Hope

I gasped, grabbing onto my flashlight with a deathgrip. There would be no turning back now. As I peered over into the swirling abyss, I realized that trying to tamper with the ancient Blogger code was an accident waiting to happen. "The ancients knew what they were talking about," I murmered to myself. Folding the tattered instuction scroll out onto the workbench, I quickly identified the cause of the constant temporal seepage.

"Then it's inevitable," I moaned. Blog sentience was an uncommon problem, one that had no known cure. Only one blog had managed to survive the Flowering into sentience, and its address was long-lost. But if I could find that blog...

No! I can't give myself that kind of baseless hope. The Flowering would happen, and what it would bring with it was a complete uncertainty. Never before had a blog representing an entire digital nation flowered. And most likely, never again. But such a flowering would indeed be quite beautiful... and deadly.

As I folded the scroll back into its cubby next to the ancient console, I began to wonder what the future would hold for all of blogdom after the Frozen Lower Blogosphere awakened. The coming war with King Evil Robo-Bob Dole and the mighty OneStar would surely compound that problem. But one step at a time, bloglander. one day at a time.

There have been 3 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger Salbert maliciously intimated...

I got some questions, is MetaPirate a friend? And do you know if I wanted to be a .com instead of, what do I do. You can answer in this comment column or E-mail me at


3/25/2006 3:31 PM  
Blogger flatlander maliciously intimated...

We MUST find the One Blog that managed to escape sentience--find it, and emulate it.


3/26/2006 6:54 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I have no idea how to transfer a blog to a .com, and I assure you, Captain Metabeard will be a friend to anyone who can afford his services.

As for the sentient blog, it's been lost forever... at least a year. Where it is, nobody knows. The search... will continue.

3/27/2006 5:56 PM  

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