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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Monday, December 12, 2005

New Ammendment to Constitution Bans Hypnotism

I, Roboshrub Incorporated, as Archchancellor of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere's illustrious and well-educated legislative branch, am proud to introduce a peice of reactionary legislation banning all hypnotism and related paraphenalia, be it instructional or otherwise. Moreover, all practioners of hypnotism are to be legally registered with the Subcomittee of Hazardous Hazards for stricter regulation of the field. Both violators of this new law, past and present, and victims will be charged will treason, rehabilitated, and reconstructed. Any complaints are null and void, as ignorance of the law is no excuse, and with the temporal fluxation resonation from the implosion of the BSB any of you could easily have looked into the future.

This ruling is based on specific intelligence involving the Black Cheddar movement. It was accepted with a final vote of twenty thousand to one (damn Kernal Sanders...). Reconstruction will render the innocent free-willed and unhypnosiable for at least twenty years, unless a major breakthrough is made in the cybernetic-hypnosis field. Personally, I remain unaffected due to the vegetative (pardon the pun) nature of my own mind.

Rumors that the Anonymi has escaped are being investigated. As head of the Executive Branch, it falls to High Lord Gyrobo to recapture him. Though little evidence is held against the other members of the Black Cheddar splinter group, more information is pending.

--End Transmission--

There have been 9 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger flatlander maliciously intimated...

I cannot heap enough praise on this bold new piece of legislation.

If only the Canadian government would only follow suit, we could rid the nation of the threat of renegade hypnotists help make the world safe again for free thought and expression.

But alas, I fear the Dairy Farmer's Board has too many nipples in the bucket, so to speak.

12/12/2005 8:11 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

I think, perhaps, that since there is now a cow involved (high security) in the Black Cheddar movement, that it should be renamed the Black and White Cheddar movement. I have put in a word with Flatlander, but have yet to hear what he thinks of my petition.

12/12/2005 8:12 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

I think it's important to remember that Evil Bob Dole hasn't yet been sighted. His alleged return to the Frozen Lower Blogosphere is being peddled by a notoriously unreliable source.

Leave this place, Anonymi! Go back to the imploded cyber sand-bar from whence you cam!

12/12/2005 8:45 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi maliciously intimated...


12/12/2005 9:19 PM  
Blogger Bhakti maliciously intimated...

Why does Bob Dole hate homos?

12/12/2005 10:48 PM  
Blogger spirella maliciously intimated...

You will never get away with this! I'm telling you now...there is a Rasputin in your midst.

12/12/2005 10:49 PM  
Blogger Miladysa maliciously intimated...

OK - I support the amendment, now how do we get the free chocolate that Bkakti said was available?

12/13/2005 5:04 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

That chocolate is classified!

12/13/2005 9:30 AM  
Blogger Anonymouse maliciously intimated...

Oh Gyrobo, on behalf of Bakti I feel I must apologize for the chocolate mix-up.

NOTE TO ALL GYROBO READERS OF THIS LOW BLOGOSHPERE: The chocolate was only rendered useful for those bloggers who participated in saying that "to know something means you know nothing'. Therefore, if you didn't say that you knew nothing you get nothing.

As her consort, I apologize full-flegdedly for the problems that have followed due to our lack of discrimination in the award process.

--December 13th (I think)

12/13/2005 2:42 PM  

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