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The Lower Blogosphere Burns with the Intensity of a Thousand Suns.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Don't Panic

I believe that Evil Bob Dole, now Evil Robodole, has declared his victory over the FLB a little early. Though it's true we've been caught by surprise, I beg then citizenship not to give up hope! Let me explain the current situation. Here's how it all went down:

Following the attack on Fakiegrind, FLB forces were deployed in secret to try to retake Fakie-Central, and recover as much of the Agents' DNA as possible. The dispatched units were asking a cat for directions when suddenly their transmissions were cut off. Their status is unknown.

Then, while the military was occupied, it was a small feat for Evil Bob Dole to sneak back into the Frozen Lower Blogosphere. While we should have expected such an obvious sneak attack, the administration was to shocked by the loss of our Fakiegrind allies. We weren't thinking clearly, as the truce was violated in the most dispisable way I can imagine having thought of first. Evil Robodole merged himself with the mainframe in the quadrilateralbiangularpolyhedragon, the FLB's executive control center, effectively exiling Gyrobo in his place.

Luckily, our foremodels when creating the FLB had a system of checks and balances put into place-- in the event that the Executioner went mad with power, the senate could always activate the "panic box," entering an underground facility where they could take over the country's media output and treasury, digitally and await their dooms in relative safety.

So here I am, huddled underground with the thousand ghost-clones of Alexander Hamilton that make up the Robot Party Congress, with limited supplies, trapped by a madman. My only real hope of escape is to use the assimilated FLB mainframe access port down here to hack into Robodole's actual mind. And I think we agree that the chances of THAT are fairly slim. At the very least, at least we can keep him from using the country's treasury to declare war on Roboshrub Inc. Hopefully Gyrobo will have the common sense to flee there and relocate the building to one of our other secret sites.

There have been 8 Cries of Anguish:

Blogger Captain Canuck maliciously intimated...

Well, that explains the missing bodies of the fallen Fakie Agents. But it sounds as though the rightful ruler of the FLB is in dire straits, immanent peril, near-mortal robotic jeopardy!!!

I would hasten to the aid of our robotic blogfolk, if only I knew the way to the FLB.

Perhaps I should start drilling!

12/17/2005 3:49 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated maliciously intimated...

You head straight down the border between the Conservative Blogs and the Liberal Blogs, hang a right at the Satiristic area, and then go about two leagues into the nonsense district.

You can't miss it, its borders are marked by enflamed pillars of solid nitrogen!

12/17/2005 4:27 PM  
Blogger Bob Dole maliciously intimated...

Bob Dole thinks we should clone 1000 James Madisons, and bring back Chief Justice Karl. This should balance out the universe.

12/17/2005 5:41 PM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer maliciously intimated...

Karl is I.
I am Karl.
Karl the Sorcerer.

My cyber-potion is working... Evil Bob Dole has been permanently merged with the Lower Blogosphere's central computer plexus! He is almost fully robot!

And I'm the only one who knows his flaw...

12/17/2005 6:58 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated maliciously intimated...

The ghost-clones used to just be clones, but someone accidentally cloned Burr, who subsequently killed all of them with one bullet.

He was, of course, executed, with one thousand charges of murder of a senator (treason).

12/17/2005 10:13 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo maliciously intimated...

This is far from over, Evil Robo-Bob Dole!

12/17/2005 10:53 PM  
Blogger L>T maliciously intimated...

It wasn't Burr, really. It was a conspiracy of the goverment at the time. It wasn't just one bullet. There were many goverment agents hiding behind a grassy knoll...
Tis true, bigfoot told me.

12/18/2005 9:12 AM  
Blogger L>T maliciously intimated...

BTW, Your Heinyness, I just noticed; you are kinda old, is that going to be a prob. w/us? If ya know what I mean? (when i am your queen, that is)

12/18/2005 9:16 AM  

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